going forth to serve

While I know that in the craziness of the semester it might have been forgotten a few times, my purpose with this class and this blog was to help me in seeking to be: "to dream more, learn more, do more and become more..." -John Quincy Adams. I wrote in my first post:

John Quincy Adams said, "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." Right now though, I don't feel like what I need to be doing is trying to inspire others. I don't need to be seeking to hide or seeking to lead like President Uchtdorf warns against in his general conference talk, but seeking to be the kind of person who my Heavenly Father can use to accomplish His own goals. 

I am looking for inspiration; I am trying to find what will make me "Dream more, learn more, do more and become more." That is what this semester I hope to do, to open my heart and let Heavenly Father in and to be guided by the Spirit to know who needs my help and what role leadership is supposed to play in my life. I hope to become a leader amongst my friends, roommates, ward family, and community through service and sharing Christ's love.  

I have tried my best to do this, to try to become a better individual and a better tool in the hands of the Lord (I've also tried to find quotes from people other than John Quincy Adams :). I sometimes struggle to see how exactly I am going to move forward from these experiences that I'm having at BYU and use them to serve in the world. I was definitely inspired by the Alumni panel because while they all rely heavily on their education itself, they all acknowledged that what they used to go forth and serve was their experiences of working with people and their faith in Jesus Christ. 


I think one of my favorite things about college is how idealistic I get to be. Being practical is important, but being realistic can sometimes leave you feeling disappointed and let down, but here, I really feel like anything is within my reach and that I can truly decide my own future. I may not know exactly what that is now, but I can't wait to continue growing as He would have me grow and serving as He would have me serve. I know that there are so many things I would like to change about myself and probably even more things that I need to change, but my life will be just a series of opportunities to do so and I can't wait for those to come. 


I will continue to "dream more, learn more, do more, and become more," and what I have found to be the best way to do so is to find ways to serve everyday. 

leading change

In almost every situation in which a person openly chooses to follow a leader, it is because that leader promises change; change that will most likely relieve frustration and spur progression. As is obvious especially in political and more public arenas, this is much easier promised than done. That is largely because real and noticeable changes do come from within the individual, but unless the group in question is whole-heartedly unified, great results usually don't follow. To me, that is what is so intimidating about the prospect of the future. Everyone wants to change the world and do something different or better, but it is often not quite enough to act only as an individual. Often, the goal is actually to lead others in change and together make that impact. 


I enjoyed Sister Gray's lecture on leading change because I think it really did provide some helpful solutions to influence others to make positive changes. She reiterated that our goals need to be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely). What was even more helpful though was how she explained the required motivation and abilities required to promote personal, social, and environmental/structural changes by recognizing vital behaviors and identifying the crucial moments in which one can create positive deviance.


Lately in my apartment, I have really been struggling to cope with my roommates and certain situations and part of me wants to just leave and stop trying to deal with it since change seems so difficult. What I have realized is that even though I want change, I cannot be the only one to want it and that we all have to have similar abilities in order to succeed. I need to make the undesirable (namely cleaning) desirable really try to surpass the limits which I perceive them to have. I know that its a long shot, and I know it will be difficult, but I also know that this change will benefit everyone and I am willing to try.      

I have never been the sort of person that liked to work with groups. In those situations, I tend to be the one to pick up the slack, I like to work on my own time schedule (which isn't really possible with groups), and there always seems to be so many more distractions and obstacles associated with groups. Unfortunately though, its pretty common in life to have work in a group setting and even as a college student, there's really no way around it. When Brother Holmoe, BYU Athletic Director, came to speak on teamwork, I have to admit that I had a couple chips on my shoulder: first, I was skeptical about people who encouraged group work and second, I don't really like football which I knew he would use as a comparison. I'm glad to say that my attitude did change almost immediately and Brother Homloe's lecture may have even been my favorite of the semester. Although Mt. Everest is a common example of a goal, Brother Homloe's comparison of the weather at the top to the stormy weather in our pursuits really made sense to me and helped me to really reflect on my own perseverance.

I also liked how Brother Homloe categorized people as simply firefighters who are more than willing to throw water on another person's fire or a firelighter who will help to keep another person's fire hot. It was however the idea of a firefighter that made me nervous about Wednesday's lab skits. In my experience, putting a group of "leaders" together to work on a project is a disaster because everyone shows up and know that they are supposed to be leading and usually are willing to put out other people's fire to do so. I was definitely impressed to see that that didn't happen. Yes, they were just skits and nothing was really on the line, but everyone in the group's ideas were used and my group was very laid back in its approach. There was one person in my group that didn't appoint himself as the team leader or anything, but he with every comment that anyone made, he was encouraging and listened and wanted to make sure that no one was ignored. You could definitely tell that he was a person that really focuses on the people he interacts with throughout the day and wants them to feel cared about.

He was what being a leader while also being on a team is all about, and I hope that I can do better with this in my apartment. There is still a lot of tension there, but I've realized that the only was to progress and progress well is if we are united in our purpose and evolve our relationships from one simply based upon our living in the same space to significant ones where we give beyond reason to lift each other up. I know that this isn't going to be easy to accomplish, but it's what I have to do in order for things to work out, so I am going to try my best. 

I 

a leader with integrity

Growing up in the Church, our youth tend to know more about integrity than most teenagers. Its a section in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, a value in Personal Progress and if we only had a dime for every time we heard a story in Sunday School about little boys and girls who steal gum from the store and go an apologize because they felt guilty about not being honest, we could have bought enough gum for each of those kids. The hardest part is realizing that not everyone has those same standards.


When I was in high school, I was involved in Student Council and our Freshman Orientation  program and a few other things, but they were always things that I cared about. At first, it was shocking for me to see that other kids were involved in those things just to put them on their college applications and had no intention of working hard or gaining anything other than a title. As I got older, I became less shocked and more annoyed because I tended to have to pick up the slack for those people. One of those times was the end of my junior year when we were putting on Prom. I was class secretary and another one of the officers was a girl that I had known since I switched schools in the first grade. We were friends, but some things had recently happened and we had had a falling out. When I was at the prom, one of my sponsors pulled me aside and asked if I had sold the girl a prom ticket the day before and I hadn't, but I guess she claimed that I did. Once everything was sorted out, we knew that she had stolen a ticket for her boyfriend and had tried to blame me for not having recorded it. What I hadn't expected was that the school's administration decided to turn the other cheek and give her a second chance so I was going to have to work with her for all of senior year againEspecially after writing this out, I know that it sounds really trivial, but it was a big deal to me and I struggled with the fact that my integrity didn't mean all that much in this situation and neither did her lack of integrity.


In Monday's lecture, I immediately thought of this when the question was posed, "Is it worth it to have integrity?" I spent a lot of time last year wondering the same thing. I always came back to yes because all that matters is what Heavenly Father knows about everything, but I still struggle with just accepting that things are not always fair and don't always seem to have justice at first. Because of my experiences last year, I sometimes think that it might be better to just quit sometimes. Similarly, I have been wondering lately whether or not I should just move out from my apartment because things seem to not be working out so well. I want to keep my integrity, but some of my roommates are so petty that its really hard to tell if it's worth it. I dont really know what the right answer is at the moment, but I know that I need to stay out of the pettiness and keep my integrity no matter what because my Heavenly Father would be really disappointed if I treated my roommates that way when I do know better and when I have been given so many tools to work through this.

servant leadership

Throughout all of high school, I was involved in student council and the school's freshmen orientation programming and National Honors Society and the green week committee and all of these organizations and clubs that had a couple of things in common. First, they were great experiences to put on a college application and they all offered opportunities to serve. While I acknowledge that being able to say I was a part of these organizations helped me as an applicant, it bothered me so much when that was the motivation for people to become involved, so for me, it was the service opportunities that I was in search of. After reading the scriptures, working through my Personal Progress, and living in a family with eight other people, I knew that serving others was not just the purpose of each of us, but my divine purpose and I was eager to finds ways to do so.


When I saw that Brother Cox's lecture on Monday was on being a servant leader, I was so ready to hear it because its something that I am truly passionate. I cannot say that I was passionate about planning the prom or counting votes for homecoming royalty, but fundraising to grant the wishes of children from the Make A Wish Foundation, that I could put my whole heart into. Although I had hear much of what he said before, I was really interested that he mentioned that while the results of serving are usually good, it is possible to selfishly seek to serve. If I am serving someone in the hope of gaining something back from them, then its not serving. I couldn't help but think back to the beginning of the semester when I was so ready to find the organizations at Y-Serve that I wanted to get involved in. I read through all of the pamphlets and even sent emails to a couple of the groups. I didn't receive any replies and the voice in my head saying if they don't reply, to call them began to disappear beneath the papers and midterms. So am I a selfless servant, or do I only do it when its convenient or when I can see some sort of future incentive for it?


I was truly disappointed with myself, but Wednesday's lab class was a chance to get back into the servant mode...by giving out cookies to students coming out from finishing their tests in the testing center. I knew that if I had been one of them, I would have stared at our class, frantically pretended to be on my phone, and walked away as quickly as possible. I thought that we should be doing something more to help people in the community and not just students. I am happy to say that I was proven wrong. Yes, it was a lot of fun for our class to hand out the cookies, but even if it was a little unexpected, people seemed to appreciate it. I realized that while it is really great to serve those that have a less fortunate life than you, the people close around you need to be served as well.


And none seem to be closer than my roommates, remember, the ones that I'm having so many problems with lately.I remember a talk that a girl in my stake gave in the Young Women's meeting on my trek. She said that when we have enemies and we don't know how to resolve the problem, serve them. I remember that because I knew she was right, but that I also struggle with that. I guess that that is the point of being here and being in this class. I need to work on my weaknesses and hopefully strengthen myself and those that I lead, and in this case, my roommates. I really wish that I knew how I was going to serve them so that I could write it in this post, but I'm really not sure right now. What I do know is that I need to be praying for opportunities to serve my roommates and learn to love them so that we can work through our conflict and get past it. 

conflict resolution

If you remember, last week I was blogging about some issues in my apartment and, I'll admit, annoyingly agonizing over this apartment discussion we were going to have on Sunday. So guess what happened...the meeting went unbelievably well, or at least it seemed to. Everyone was civil and agreed that yes we should do the dishes and yes we should have apartment prayers and everyone went on with their Sundays, but that is not what I expected. My eighteen years of living with three sisters had prepared me for what I thought would be some form of a brawl complete with shouting match and bloodshed (even if only a little), but what I got was a polar opposite Stepford-esque "discussion." The crazy part is, I don't think that was a good thing. 

I was proven right when I walked in the kitchen at eleven thirty that night to find the sink piled too high to even fill a glass of water under the faucet. I was stewing over this for all of Monday morning and when I walked into Sterling May's lecture on conflict resolution, I knew that I really needed to listen. I realized that while I may have been afraid of the results of a confrontation, it was necessary and conflict can be a good thing. Our discussion went so well because we didn't say what was really on our minds. We were polite, which isn't a bad thing, but we were not forward enough and almost pretended like there weren't any conflicts and therefore could not move through and past them. Communication is essential if anything is going to change so I know that I need to do it, and be direct, but nice at the same time. I also realized that I'm having trouble categorizing the problem which makes it really difficult to solve. I'm sure that some of it is a process conflict because we obviously don't clean the same way, but it's probably also interpersonal with our differences in personality as well as with our roles as roommates. 

What I'm still not sure about is whether or not this is external, and that is because I haven't taken too much time to find out. I love the example of the missionary companionship interviews that Sterling gave to use as a guide for these discussions, but there is a problem: I'm not loving my roommates like I should. Because of some things that have happened between us have hurt me personally, I know that I have hardened my heart towards them and am therefore in no position to lead anyone to a solution. However, I know that as an answer to my prayers, the Relief Society lesson last week was about having charity for others and not judging them, and I know that it is my fault that I don't have this love and I promise to strive to get it back. When I do, I'm going to have a real discussion with my roommates where we actually talk about the real issues that we're having and take it as an opportunity not just to vent or condemn, but to collaborate and move forward into a better relationship. So once again, wish me luck or send me prayers if you'd like to! 

Over the past few weeks, I've read the book Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath. The Heaths are brothers who brought together their insights from two very different professions to find out what an idea needs in order to spark change in behaviors or beliefs. Each chapter offers several examples of ideas that were successfully transferred through what the authors call the 6 aspects of SUCCESs: Simple, Unexpected, Concrete, Credible, Emotional, Stories. The stories were definitely interesting and really help me, the reader, to remain engaged throughout the book, but I couldn't help but feel like it was all a little sensational. If I were in a business where I needed to advertise a new service or get my employees to learn a new procedure, it would be fairly easy to apply these concepts. But for me, in my leadership role and my life, those are not my goals. It seems a little more useful when I think about it as being rhetoric and understanding the perspective of your target audience, but still there's something a little artificial and even deceitful about this. 


Then I realized that this is probably typical of someone like me (according to the Meyers-Briggs test) would think. I tend to be an idealist and value morals and ethics, but I struggle to "sell" my ideas. I think that I should just be able to be up front and plainly state my ideas and people should listen, that I shouldn't have to "convince" anyone, but that doesn't always work. The greatest insight to me from the book was that when a person learns or finds a solution to a problem, it can be extremely difficult to communicate those ideas to others because we forget what it was like not to know them. The ideas become a part of our frame of reference and we struggle to level with others who don't already understand. I loved this because one of my personal goals is to constantly gain and expand my perspective because I think that is essential for true progression. 


So there is a part of my philosophies on life that seems to suggest that I really want to love and help everyone like I've been commanded to do, but there's something that that is eating away at me as I am typing. I can honestly say that in this present moment, I do not love each of my roommates and that is wrong. We have all of these issues in our apartment of not connecting and not being nice to each other and not cleaning up after ourselves and while they're all petty, I am upset over them and there is a spirit of contention in our apartment. As I am currently wishing that none of my roommates are reading this, I am also overwhelmed with the realization that even though I poked fun at the idea of being a leader in my apartment at the beginning of this semester, my apartment really needs it. This weekend, we will be having an apartment discussion and I don't know exactly what I'm going to say. I want to take some time to really ponder the perspectives that each of us in the apartment are coming with and be prepared to offer my ideas for solutions in ways that everyone will be able to understand and will not feel threatened by them. I am also grateful for Professor Wilson's advice in her public speaking lecture because I may not practice my discussion since that would be pretty difficult, but I am going to have an outline of what I'm going to say and hopefully it will work. So I guess you can wish me luck this weekend...or since its BYU, you can pray for me if you'd like. 

time management

Time management are two words that I hear, nod my head to, and pretend that I do not have a problem with, but anyone who actually know me knows that I really am just pretending. Past all of the neon sticky notes and color coded schedules is a girl who is fairly good at identifying all of her responsibilities, getting overwhelmed by them, and choosing to pretend (again) that they don't exist until the last possible moment I can. I haven't confessed that to anyone not sitting around me in a circle waiting to thank me for sharing and support me through my uphill battle to overcome, and I have just put it out so that anyone who may care to read it can. I am truly, deeply embarrassed.   


I understand that its not unusual to have this problem, but people don't usually expect me to have it. I juggle my family, work, school (and not an easy one at that), activities, church, friends, and I'm the kind of person who actually take a leadership class and that implies that I actually have the ability to keep up with it all. To give myself some credit, I am not always so hopelessly lacking drive, and when I can gain the momentum, I can get a lot done...the problem is simply getting there. That is why I really appreciated Professor Wadsworth's lecture on time management. I was really intrigued by the idea that not only can I have too much stress, but also not enough; that I need a little stress as motivation to be proactive. That really changed my perspective from thinking that if my responsibilities were to disappear, everything would be so much better, when in fact I would probably stop progressing. I also really appreciated the part about dealing with procrastination, not avoiding it or giving it a more pleasant name, but actually dealing with it. I know I need to get better at setting deadlines and breaking tasks down into pieces and going after those large projects rather than getting to tired after just the small, somewhat menial tasks. 


So this week, I have begun to put these goals into my life as a student where the phrase, "I'll catch up this weekend," has become the definition of unfulfilled prophecy. I have forfeited my evening's social life for studying at the library until Coldplay's Clocks pushes me out the door. The best part about all of that was that here it is. Friday night, and although my roommates and I decided to shake it up by studying in the library's 5th floor bathroom with the couches and chairs, I am still alive. I am alive and happy and feeling a lot less overwhelmed. Still, I don't want to make this my routine, but once I am finally on top of school work, I plan to simply stay on campus from 9 to 5 and spend all of that time completely focused on school so that when I get home, I can give the time necessary to my other roles of roommate, visiting teacher, indexing committee member, and as  member of this community because as Professor Wadsworth reminded us, "You get self-esteem by doing good and acknowledging success," so here's to really doing some good. 

divine-centered leadership

While there thousands of books written, speakers who discuss, and programs that teach leadership techniques, there is always room for debate. None of them can guarantee you which choice is right and if the results will be what they need to. Knowing that, I would no doubt say that this week's lesson on divine-centered leadership is the most important concept that will be discussed throughout this class. No matter how much a leader from the past or a personality test can tell us about ourselves and how we can best lead in the future, our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ can tell us infinitely more. They know when the future will defy the past and what we know as fact will become unreliable and the only way that we can learn that is through them. 

When Dean Westerberg spoke to us, she first asked us to write down our own definition for divine-centered leadership and this is what I wrote: to be a faithful follower of Christ and His teachings and as a disciple become a tool for Him to use in all areas of one's life. It seems like I must have missed some things even though I feel like I packed so much into that sentence.I loved that Dean Westerberg defined divine-centered leaders by their actions because that is what determines a person's character. She said that a divine-centered leaders are often in the right place at the right time (because they're listening to the Spirit), always see the potential in others (because so does their Heavenly Father), are prayerful (because they know that the Lord knows better about what to do than them), are not competitive (because that is not their goal), love (with the pure love of Christ), are obedient (because they trust in the Lord's commandments), do things for their followers that they cannot do for themselves (because they are willing to sacrifice since Jesus Christ sacrificed for them), and are good delegators (because they recognize that others need opportunities to grow just as they do). 

What is really great about divine-centered leadership is that it applies to every aspect of life. You don't just center your church calling upon Christ and his teachings, but your whole life which can be at church, home, school, work, community, with people you do like, and those you don't. I think this is perfect for me in my goal of seeking to be; seeking to be a leader in my life and all of its parts and that all begins with seeking to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ and centering my life upon Him and His teachings. This is going to mean that I gradually and naturally look to the Savior, accept the role of teacher and servant, search the scriptures, pray for guidance and listen, help others to promote self-governance, hold individuals accountable, express adequate appreciation, set a personal example, and listen to the living prophets. With this eternal perspective, I am ready to try to make Christ the center of my life and be guided by the Spirit. I know that because we all have grown up so differently and cannot always understand each other completely, I need the Spirit to guide me as I interact with my roommates and especially in conflict. I need the Spirit to guide me to serve my family, friends, and acquaintances in the ways that they need. I have no doubt that as I am beginning my life away from my family and slowly preparing to have a family of my own, I will need the Spirit to guide me through every step.

In the Divine-centered Leadership reading, something really stood out to me. I guess I had just never thought about it, but Jesus grew up like you and me. He needed to come down here to receive a body, set an example for each of us, and complete the Atonement, and therefore He has experienced all of our sorrows and pains and can relate to us. But Jesus Christ can relate to us in another powerful way. He came into this life with a divine purpose and destiny just like we did, and like we do, He had to discover that purpose for Himself. 

"Christ recognized this eternal perspective very early in His life. At age twelve He told his parents that He "must be about [His] Father's business" (Luke 2:49). Even if the rest of His divine mission was yet to unfold to Him, He knew of His divine origin and its significance and conducted Himself accordingly....Before Jesus Christ began his formal ministry, He spent time fasting and praying in the wilderness. Though scripture does not provide many details of what transpired during this forty-day solitude, it is reasonable to suggest that He was seeking for, listening to, and following divine guidance. Through reflection and introspection, He obtained more clearly the divine mission that would mark His mortal ministry."

We may not yet know exactly what our Heavenly Father has planned for us, but neither did our older brother Jesus Christ and we can follow His example to find out what it is. Still, it will be unfolded unto us on His timetable, not our own, so we can work to center our lives upon Jesus Christ and His gospel and seek to be a tool in His hands. 

leadership personality

About two weeks ago, I walked into the BYU Counseling and Career Center to take the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator.There were a few problems with this: 1. I don't really appreciate being labeled, 2. I took a personality/career/calling in life test that took 45 minutes my sophomore year only to find at the end that my results were "inconclusive" and they suggested that I take the test again...I didn't do that, 3. It was going to cost money and I really didn't want a thirteen dollar "inconclusive" message. So in all of my obvious cynicism, I walked into the center and gave them my Student ID and sat down to what seemed like the same two or three questions repeated over and over and over, but of course they were not exactly the same, so I was second-guessing myself and whether I was answering what I really thought or just what I want myself to think, or if my answers contradicted themselves, or if but luckily my lack of patience was more important to me than the actual results and I just stopped taking so much time on each time and finished just about as fast as I finished that sentence. 


So when I got my results, I was really surprised to see that I was not so contradictory. I am an INFP: Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened. An its not like there's anything wrong with that, it's pretty accurate in fact, but I always thought that I was this interestingly ambidextrous enigma of a person; a balance of left and right brain, and yet here I am completely one-sided in the types represented.Feeling a little bit one dimensional, I turned the page to see that my most suitable careers would be in the category of the arts, design, entertainment, sports, and media. This wouldn't have been so much of a problem however if I hadn't completely changed from wanting to study writing and literature to political science and law which ranks about twelfth on my list. So then of course I am second guessing my choice to switch my major and thinking about how much I am enjoying my writing class and how much I was dreading my comparative governments test and just had this overwhelming feeling of doubt.

As I let these feelings stew a little, just thinking about the results, my patriarchal blessing, and talking with my family, I finally had to take my government test and just what happened...I did really well. It wasn't so much that moment, but the confirmation that I was way over analyzing my results. Whatever I want to do and especially whatever I think my Heavenly Father wants me to do, I can and will do, but by recognizing my strengths and weaknesses, the road to get there can be a lot smoother and more fulfilling.I have had a change of heart and I really do appreciate that the Meyers-Briggs helped me recognize that I really do need be a little more decisive and little less perfectionistic, but that I do have strengths. Admitting that I have strengths, or even recognizing them, has always been difficult for me because there's aways that conflict between being confident and being humble, but I am good at relating to people, trying to use different perspectives, and focusing on the future. While I am seeking to be my best self, I am so grateful to have this new self-awareness that can be so rare in a leader. Now when one of my roommates needs some reassurance, I can be confident in giving it to her or when one of them is upset that I seem to be overbearing or nagging, she probably is right I should back off. Still, I am most grateful that I can always ask my Heavenly Father for insight into myself and how I can become better, and I promise to try to listen.

situational leadership

In his play Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare wrote, "Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." I think this applies so much to the leadership qualities of a person; whether they were born leaders, work to become them, or must become one because of their situation. This week, Brother Klemme of BYUSA gave a lecture on situational leadership. The theory he presented was about choosing to lead in a style based on a particular situation one is in and considering the directive and supportive behaviors required and the maturity level of the followers. He then showed us an admittedly practical chart displaying when it would be best to lead by either supporting, delegating, coaching, or directing. I understood this fairly well (at least I think I did) and definitely see the merit in this approach, but I did have a problem with the presentation of this theory: it was all so formulaic. Especially in my journey as I am "seeking to be" as opposed to "seeking to lead" or "seeking to hide," I feel like a true leader may very well use these types of leadership and apply these techniques, but he or she doesn't use a graph to figure out which one would be best, the feel it and use the spirit to guide them. I think that this element of compassion involved was beautifully described through the character of Nelson Mandela in the clips of Invictus that Brother Klemme showed us. It would be easy to say that Mandela had a way with words and rhetoric and that's what made him such an influential leader, but it was the heart behind every syllable he uttered that made what he said worth anything.


I also must admit that despite my ranting above, for a time this week, I lost sight of what I was actually seeking. When trying to think of a leader in my life whom I admire, I was stumped and I called my mom to ask her what she thought. She offered many suggestions, as always, and as I was about to hang up the phone, I realized that hat I was trying to find as a subject was someone with a title or a position that I someday might like to have as well. I just seemed to forget that the most important job I ever want to have is a mother and eternal companion...just like my mom. So I interviewed her and I have to say that this was a new forum to be in with her and I was kind of surprised by her conversation. I first asked what leadership roles she had in her life. She rattled off mom, wife, daughter, sister, daycare provider, Relief Society secretary, and visiting teacher. As to how she prioritizes those she said that of course her family comes first (no surprise there), but that they all seem to overlap and they're continual, so its important that each day, certain amounts of time are dedicated to each one. It seems like my mom always likes to talk about back when she was my age and especially about when she did work in management when my sisters and I were still young. Although I of course thought how impersonal it seemed at first, she said that that experience with managing employees really does translate to managing her family, but the difference is that this time her job is not on the line, but rather her heart and the salvation of her and her family and is changes so much about the way she sees life and its tasks. Yes, my mom was seeking to be a wife and a mother, but she was not seeking to be a leader...that was, as Shakespeare would say, "thrust upon her." I think that it is out of those situations that we are just put into, when we have to rely solely on the spirit to make up for our lack of preparation and inevitable shortcomings, that we truly become the leaders that Heavenly Father wants us to be. 

 

leaders in history

As we are beginning our leadership roles in our new surroundings, its hard not to have high expectations for ourselves; not only are we trying to find something that's meaningful for us and for those we serve, but we also have the legacies of leaders past casting shadows on us that seem nearly impossible to fill. If only we could embody what makes each of them so honorable, we could create our own shadows. Perhaps they would not be as tall, or wide, or even near the same shape as those of the people whom we admire, but they could provide just as much shade and inspire another leader just as much. This week, we had the privilege of dissecting those essential qualities of a good leader by studying many leaders in history. Brother Ward's lecture resonated with me because not only did he highlight those iconic leaders whom everyone revers and aspires to be like, but also looked at the infamous leaders whose influence was so negative that their names evoke shudders rather than applause.


I am not looking for applause, but the thought that a person might shudder at the sound of my name and fear becoming like me is horrifying. But what stuck out to me is that you don't have to be an oppressive dictator or harsh general or even the leader of a cult to be deemed as bad; you could simply be the mentor who forgot or the officer who was too busy or the visiting teacher who barely cared to say hello. I know that I have vision and I am looking to my Heavenly Father to make sure that its what He sees for me as well. I am ready to challenge what seems wrong to me. I am coming to know and looking to serve and my motives are pure. I am trying to follow Christ's example and to become one myself. With this attitude I am beginning my calling on the indexing committee and trying to be the best roommate I can be and leader in my apartment. In both of those roles, I don't want to be bad, mediocre, or indifferent, but  I will do everything I can to be the best I can be and draw on the examples of those leaders that I look up to.


The book that I will be reading on leadership is Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath in hopes that I can find a way to make my ideas stick and positively effect everyone under their influence.

defining leadership

Thousands if not millions or more people in all aspects of life have attempted to define what a leader is and what leadership means, but I'm afraid that there isn't only one of them that is right or all but one that are wrong; in fact, most of the may be right. Leadership is one of those philosophical concepts like truth or reality that seem simple, but after even twenty-five minutes of discussion leave you with a headache because you realize how relative they can be and that each person must define the term for themselves based on the context of their own life. 

The term leadership and I have had a long, involved history, especially in the past four years. A leader is something that everyone wants you to be, but they hardly ever tell you who you are leading or where your leading them to and of course how you're going to do such a thing. What I have started to realize is that ultimately, no matter if I'm leading in a spiritual or secular arena, I should always be following the perfect leader, Jesus Christ, and therefore lead others to him as well. Still, that seems like a pretty lofty goal. John Quincy Adams said, "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." Right now though, I don't feel like what I need to be doing is trying to inspire others. I don't need to be seeking to hide or seeking to lead like President Uchtdorf warns against in his general conference talk, but seeking to be the kind of person who my Heavenly Father can use to accomplish His own goals. 

I am looking for inspiration; I am trying to find what will make me "Dream more, learn more, do more and become more." That is what this semester I hope to do, to open my heart and let Heavenly Father in and to be guided by the Spirit to know who needs my help and what role leadership is supposed to play in my life. I hope to become a leader amongst my friends, roommates, ward family, and community through service and sharing Christ's love.