time management

Time management are two words that I hear, nod my head to, and pretend that I do not have a problem with, but anyone who actually know me knows that I really am just pretending. Past all of the neon sticky notes and color coded schedules is a girl who is fairly good at identifying all of her responsibilities, getting overwhelmed by them, and choosing to pretend (again) that they don't exist until the last possible moment I can. I haven't confessed that to anyone not sitting around me in a circle waiting to thank me for sharing and support me through my uphill battle to overcome, and I have just put it out so that anyone who may care to read it can. I am truly, deeply embarrassed.   


I understand that its not unusual to have this problem, but people don't usually expect me to have it. I juggle my family, work, school (and not an easy one at that), activities, church, friends, and I'm the kind of person who actually take a leadership class and that implies that I actually have the ability to keep up with it all. To give myself some credit, I am not always so hopelessly lacking drive, and when I can gain the momentum, I can get a lot done...the problem is simply getting there. That is why I really appreciated Professor Wadsworth's lecture on time management. I was really intrigued by the idea that not only can I have too much stress, but also not enough; that I need a little stress as motivation to be proactive. That really changed my perspective from thinking that if my responsibilities were to disappear, everything would be so much better, when in fact I would probably stop progressing. I also really appreciated the part about dealing with procrastination, not avoiding it or giving it a more pleasant name, but actually dealing with it. I know I need to get better at setting deadlines and breaking tasks down into pieces and going after those large projects rather than getting to tired after just the small, somewhat menial tasks. 


So this week, I have begun to put these goals into my life as a student where the phrase, "I'll catch up this weekend," has become the definition of unfulfilled prophecy. I have forfeited my evening's social life for studying at the library until Coldplay's Clocks pushes me out the door. The best part about all of that was that here it is. Friday night, and although my roommates and I decided to shake it up by studying in the library's 5th floor bathroom with the couches and chairs, I am still alive. I am alive and happy and feeling a lot less overwhelmed. Still, I don't want to make this my routine, but once I am finally on top of school work, I plan to simply stay on campus from 9 to 5 and spend all of that time completely focused on school so that when I get home, I can give the time necessary to my other roles of roommate, visiting teacher, indexing committee member, and as  member of this community because as Professor Wadsworth reminded us, "You get self-esteem by doing good and acknowledging success," so here's to really doing some good.